


You're Trash, Oikawa

by hikari_yuma



Series: Oisuga Week [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I REGRET NOTHING, Iwaizumi swears a lot in this fic, M/M, Oikawa is trash, Oisuga Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 13:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3135380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hikari_yuma/pseuds/hikari_yuma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is no stranger to mistakes, but this time, he's gone and really messed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Trash, Oikawa

**Author's Note:**

> For OiSuga week, day 3!  
> The prompt was either outer space or mistakes and I chose the latter. Hopefully it wasn't too OOC and it makes you shed a tear. My forte is definitely angst. I tried to come up with a bit of a happy ending, though!

He'd messed up. No, that was an understatement.

He couldn't believed that he'd fucked up as badly as he had. What Iwaizumi kept saying was probably true. 

_"You're trash, Oikawa."_

Except this time he wasn't going to respond to the thought with a pout or wave it off. Running his hands through his tousled brown hair he let his head drop onto the desk again and stared at the neat collection of pens near him. They were Suga's, arranged in a neat and orderly fashion. Just how Suga liked it...He glanced over at the chair where Suga's favourite scarf usually hung over, only to find that it was still missing. Still gone and out of reach, just like its owner. Or at least, only to him.

Iwaizumi could reach Suga, probably. Daichi could. Or Asahi, or anyone in general. Anyone except for  _him._

It wasn't pride that kept him there, as it usually would. No, it was guilt. Guilt that ate away at him, gnawing at his mind;  a constant, horrible presence that refused to leave him alone. "Dammit." Tooru muttered sharply, rubbing at his reddened eyes and checked his phone again. It was 3am. There were several messages from Iwaizumi, calling him trash and the like, but he already knew it. But there was one message that caught his eye. It was titled: 

_YOU PIECE OF FUCKING TRASH!!!!_

Iwaizumi generally didn't title his text messages...Oikawa labouriously tapped his phone screen to open the message and idly read it. But the first three words were enough to get him to be alert, sitting upright straight away while his eyes flew open.

 

> _i found him._

Oikawa felt his chest clench. If Suga was talking to Iwaizumi there was a chance that he could make everything right. He read the rest of the message but instantly wished he hadn't - he needed a  _location,_ dammit, not a description of how terrible Suga looked!

 

> _he looks like shit, you piece of trash. what the fuck have you done now, trashkawa ??_

He hurriedly replied, asking for Suga's whereabouts, and a reply came within moments.

 

> _and why should i tell you that, shittykawa?_

Oikawa clenched his jaw and growled at that. He was being serious, now. There was nothing playful about the former setter now. There was no triumphant smirk, no glee - he needed to find Suga. It wasn't even a question of that he  _wanted_ to see Suga, more like he desperately needed to so that his boyfriend didn't do anything uncharacteristically stupid. Something like what...he would do. 

He asked again. In fact, he asked ten more times, until Iwaizumi replied.

 

> _you better fix this, asshole. we're at that park you're always at._

Instantly pocketing his phone, he snagged a jacket off of the door handle and dashed out the door. Oikawa Tooru wasn't usually one to rush, but this was important. He'd made a mistake - no, more than one, and he wondered if he'd be able to fix it.

Lately, he'd been going out. It had made sense at first - he'd finished all of his assessment, pretty much, while Suga still had a few assignments to finish, and he didn't want to get floored by a sleep-deprived, pissed off-Sugawara Koushi. But all too soon, it had become a habit. A bad one. He'd have a few drunks, and would tell himself to stop.  _'For Suga.'_ He kept repeating to himself. He knew how much Suga hated being alone, and he was cold without sharing Oikawa's body heat or without the help of several scarves and a pair of gloves. 

The first few times he'd pulled all-nighters, Suga hadn't seemed to mind. He'd laughed, give Oikawa some aspirin, and would nurse him through the hangovers. He'd smile at Oikawa, that big bright smile that he used to reassure other people, but after a week even that smile, the one that Suga used as a mask, was becoming strained. Oikawa generally looked at the big picture of things, and, while he was highly observant, judging other's moods and reading emotions certainly wasn't his forte. Had Suga been a volleyball game, he probably wouldn't have fucked up so badly. 

Then, he'd begun to have to be walked home by pairs of cute girls. They were different every night, he never kept the same girls around (or guys, for that matter), but with each passing day Suga's smile began to become more and more stretched. His usually bright eyes began to lose their lustre. After he'd finished his assessment, he and Oikawa had celebrated, and his eyes had begun to regain their brightness.

But bad habits were hard to break. 

Two nights ago was when he'd made the biggest mistake of all.

He'd gone out, and gotten more drunk than he would usually allow himself to as a general rule (being in control, particularly of his own body, was important to Tooru), and he'd had to be half-carried home by some guy he'd met.  _"It was just some guy."_ He'd insisted.  _"Stop getting so worked up over it, Suga, you don't need to worry about me!"_ Maybe it had been like a slap in the face to Suga. Of course, he could blame what he'd said next on being drunk, but it was a shameful excuse. It was  _his_  fault that Suga's smile kept slipping,  _his_ fault for leaving Suga alone so many times - all of the mistakes he'd made could be blamed on no one else but himself.

_"I don't need you taking care of me! I don't want you to! I don't need you hanging around like Iwaizumi! It's annoying! I don't need **you**!"_

He gritted his teeth and continued running, wishing that he could outrun the thoughts that hounded him so persistently. 

_"I'm sorry that I've been bothering you, then. How about I just go?"_

He couldn't remember everything clearly, but he remembered Suga's face being carefully and perfectly clear of any emotion. It was unlike Suga...in a way, it scared him. Had he really been that blind to how Suga had been feeling? Well, actually, that didn't surprise him.

_"You're trash, Oikawa."_

This time, he'd certainly agree with Iwaizumi, no questions about it.

\---

By the time he reached the park he was panting, and his eyes were slightly more red-rimmed. 

But there he was.

_'Suga.' His_  Suga. Sweet, caring Suga, that he had so selfishly hurt, that he had cruelly neglected, that he was desperate to apologise to (and apologies were a rare occurrence from Tooru). He ached to reach out to the shorter man, to pull him into a warm embrace, to reassure him and tell him that he hadn't meant it, and that he  _was_ truly a piece of trash like Iwa-chan was always saying, but he stopped once he saw Iwaizumi clap Suga on the shoulder. 

Oh. Right. Iwaizumi. He'd pretty much forgotten about his best friend. Oops. 

Thankfully, Suga and Iwaizumi turned around as if to leave, but both stopped when they saw him. Suga looked shocked, and Iwaizumi murderous. Both were not good expressions, nor the ones that he wanted (then again, Iwa-chan was always threatening to kill him so Iwaizumi's expression he could handle). While Suga stayed where he was, his friend advanced towards him and punched him in the shoulder. Hard.

"Look, Trashkawa, we're not buddy-buds but he's not a bad guy. I don't know how he hasn't knocked you out yet. I know I would."

"Thanks for the great advice, Iwa-chan." For once, Oikawa was sarcastic. "You think I don't know that?" But said Iwa-chan only shrugged and waved to Suga before going on his way. Oikawa advanced forwards carefully, unsure of what to do. "Suga." He called, after a few moments. His voice had a slight tremor to it, and he cursed himself for not being as composed. Carefully, he inhaled deeply and forced himself to relax. "Suga." He tried again, advancing hesitantly towards his boyfriend who, thankfully, didn't move. 

Once he got close enough to, Oikawa threw caution to the winds and leaped at Suga, pulling him close and burying his head in Suga's silky locks that were tousled and tangled from an obvious lack of brushing. Oikawa couldn't blame him, though. The guy had been gone for a few days, after all.

"I'm..." He began, but trailed off. Of course he was sorry. Of course he wanted to apologise. But he could be lying, couldn't he? He lied so easily that sometimes he hated how good he was at it, and Suga knew that. 

"I know that." Suga's voice was slightly hoarse and his chest tightened.

"I'm an idiot."

"I know that too."

"I love you."

For a moment, there is no respond. then, Suga gently loops his arms around Oikawa's lean waist and leans into the hug. 

"I love you too." The silver-haired man paused, then, and he momentarily glances at Oikawa. I...just, tell me, next time." Suga's voice is soft and laced with something he is having trouble detecting. "When you go out, and you're going to be out late. I'll lock you out so that you'll learn your lesson." Tooru is so relieved by this. But Suga had always been like this with him and mistakes - it was just this time he'd messed up badly...

"I don't want you to forgive me. I don't deserve that."

"I know." That's all it is. Two words, two syllables. It's quiet and succinct, but the emotion is still there behind the words, the  _'please don't do it again', 'I thought you didn't want me anymore at all',_ the insecurity that he and Suga both have is  _there_ and it stabs at him along with the guilt.

Who knew that relationships would give him stomach craps? Last time he checked, he was smooth-talking, attractive, confident Oikawa Tooru. But around Suga, he was raw and genuine and rough around the edges. Around Suga, he was flawed, and acknowledged his mistakes instead of blaming someone else. You needed someone like Suga around, he'd long since decided, to accept that, and to help you  _yourself_ accept it. 

Apologies were not his forte. Making mistakes was. Screwing everything up that didn't relate to volleyball was.

But, mistakes, flaws and all, Suga still held him gently and let him cry for what he'd been so terrified of losing.

And that was the best way to show them both that mistakes needed to be accepted and remedied, on both sides of the slate. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this OiSuga fic! (:


End file.
